You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
