Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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