SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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