the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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