i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
