I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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