five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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