Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
