This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
