I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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