mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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