doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
