I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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