What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just cropdusted the office
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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