I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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