i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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