at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
