I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
