It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
