He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
