love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
