...so i touched it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
