I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
