guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
