How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
