She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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