Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize