is your mom at the bar?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She announced her abortion via fbk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
