genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
