Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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