my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize