I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
