talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
