I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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