Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
