just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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