One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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