you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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