using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
