the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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