I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
