Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
