Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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