He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
FUCK WHALES
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
