I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
