Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
