Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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