I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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