I wanna bring you to show and tell
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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