"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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