Whod you bang
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
