I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
