Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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