sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
