oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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