i would punch a child for taco bell
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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