I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize