A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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