I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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