everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
