But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
