No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
