a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what day is it and did you see me today?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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