What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize