And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
