so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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