Define "chronic" masturbator.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
