brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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