I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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