I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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