That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize