she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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