The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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