is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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