the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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