Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
