I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize